Today I went to school for the first time in seven days, and it sucked. I was still sick and we had to do suicides at soccer, and it was horrible. Wednesday is my birthday, and I should be excited, but I am extremely bummed out. There is just so many things that I want to be different on that day, and it does not look like its going to happen that way. I miss Gabe so much, and even though I want to tell myself that he is not coming back and that I need to get over him , I really just am having a difficult time doing so. Does that make me pathetic? I feel so pathetic and ignorant, but I know I am not, I am just hurt. Well that is all for now, I am thinking about nothing else. I'll write more later. ByeBye